I’m the Grinch

My paternal grandparents had 3 children: my dad (the eldest) and 2 girls. Growing up, I spent holidays with my paternals and as a result, those experiences shaped my definition of “the holidays,” which included gigantic family dinners (that I helped prepared when I became old enough and had permission to enter my grandmother’s kitchen), lots of love, laughter, and life!

This time of year was something I always looked forward to as a child.

Life changed and God decided to take the youngest girl in 2007, my dad in 2008, and my grandmother in 2009. As you can probably imagine, things are much different, and as a result; I am not in a festive mood this year. But it’s 2013, right???

For reasons I won’t list publicly, this holiday season is one of the toughest I’ve experienced since 2009 to the point where I really just want to go to sleep and not awake until January 2, 2014.

Yes, I have my daughter, the light of my life, but as far as she’s concerned; all of her days are filled with love, laughter, and life, as she is oblivious to what Christmas is because she experiences blessings daily. Children as young as she have Christmas everyday! πŸ™‚

I’ve been pretty emotional today and just wanted to post to say: those damn presents do not matter. I’m not speaking to what you can or can’t afford. I’m speaking to the true spirit and meaning of Christmas: the giving of unconditional love, the traditions, the joke telling, sitting around watching the parades and games, spending time with the people who you love the most.

Those of us engrossed in the the grieving process (which lasts a lifetime) would return every gift to have our loved ones back.

Those who have family members who are deployed would give up those stupid, cheesy decked halls to be in the presence of their loved ones.

Those who are unable to travel home because of work and/or obligations would love to take for granted the feast that’s prepared. And to be able to eat it with their family.

Those who are homeless don’t really care about having the latest gadgets that will soon be forgotten next month when the next new thing comes out.

Think about that when you’re consumed with consumerism. Materials don’t matter, but moments do.

While I am a self-proclaimed grinch (and rightfully so, in my opinion); I’m thankful I still remember the reason for the season.

Sending my prayers, love, and hugs to everyone out there who can relate.

 

Shanika

thegrinch

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Say Goodbye To The Nice Guy

Can a person be too nice?

Can you be so accommodating you become a nice little liar? Living out an existence that doesn’t fulfill you or make you happy, all because the person you are with is a “nice guy.”

It’s hard to let go of someone who has been nothing but nice to you, even after you’ve determine they really serve no purpose other than taking up space or allowing you to pass time until the right one comes along.

Why is it so hard to let go of the nice man or the nice woman even when they add no value to your life?

It’s almost as if we need permission in the form of disappointment or drama before dismissal.Β 

Why can’t we simply have a mature conversation that may go something like this: ” Dear Dick (or Jane, which ever you prefer), I’ve prayed about it and this is the point at which you get off of my bus. Yes, this is your stop. No, you have not done anything wrong. I just know you are not the one for me and I am not the one for you. I appreciate the journey we’ve taken, however your retaining that seat would only serve to hinder the person for whom it was created. I wish you the best. Goodbye.”Β 

Unfortunately, most have not learned a mature way of breaking off a relationship, even when the writing is on the wall. And it’s even harder if it’s nice italicized writing. While some people can find a reason to break up with a liar or cheater, we often struggle to find the logic that justifies breaking up with a nice one.Β 

I think that happens because there are so many yucky people in the world that we have been hardened to the point to where if the minimal is met; we latch on withoutΒ trulyΒ and comprehensively evaluating all characteristics of the person. Just because a person is nice does not mean you should spend the rest of your life with him or her. What are their interests? What are their goals in life? What is their passion? Are the two of you able to have engaging conversations? Does your tummy feel that flutter when he or she is around? Is there chemistry between the two of you?

There are so many things to look at other than whether or not he or she is simply nice. Santa Claus is nice, however do you really want to spend the rest of your life at the North Pole with a man who only works one day out of the year and all of the other days; he sits around playing with his wood?