Cyclical

I don’t understand why so many people complain about how Black women are portrayed on reality television when the same people who complain are the ones patronizing the shows!!!! These shows are a business and in business, everything is about the bottom line, therefore, if it’s not making the company money; it will go away. The more you tune in, the more ratings they will have, which will lead to more money. It’s simple mathematics. Supply and demand. No matter how you slice it.

So the real question becomes, “why do you watch it?” Those who know me know I haven’t had cable in over 2 years because when I returned to school I decided to rid myself of it because television became nothing more than a distraction. The deal I made with myself is that I would not sign up for cable again until after I graduated. Well, now that I’ve graduated I still can’t logically convince myself to pay for cable. Anything I really want to watch, I can watch online for free. Hell, all I really have to do is look at my Facebook timeline and I know exactly what happened. There isn’t much substance on television today and I don’t think many would argue with me about that.

You call it guilty pleasure. A way to release from your everyday life and unwind with something that is completely ridiculous and will allow you not to use any brain cells. I get that, as I’m guilty of the same. What I DON’T get are the people who complain about it week after week after week. It’s like complaining about how much a broken bone hurt and yet not going to the doctor to do anything about it.

If you’re going to watch it, watch it, but don’t then get on a soapbox platform and discuss the ills it creates for the image of Black women, especially if you’re a Black woman contributing to the increasing of its bottom line.

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The Circle of Life

Written 02-23-12

Tomorrow is the day I’m hoping to find out if I am having a boy or girl. I’ve made it clear a want a girl, however my son would receive just as much love. Truthfully, I’m afraid of having a boy as my biggest fear is having to, as a single mother, rear a Black man. That task seems to be one I can’t tackle the way I would want to, with my Black husband by my side. At any rate, regardless of the sex; I hope to have a very healthy and loving child.

The biggest reason I want a girl is because I want to name her after my paternal grandmother. I secretly hope to have a piece of her back here with me because I miss her soooo much. I also want that unique mother-daughter bond. I want to teach her to be a better woman than I am. I envision a bright, beautiful face with a large, curly afro. I can’t wait to teach her to love her black skin and kinky hair.

I really want to alleviate from her life all insecurities I had as a young girl. I want to tell her all of the things I wanted to hear. I don’t ever want her to feel as if I don’t understand her or what she’s feeling or going through. Essentially I want to heal my childhood wounds by loving her the way I wish I was loved.

Black families don’t always verbally express love, it’s often implied. Sometimes we need to hear it.

This isn’t about not knowing I was loved. This is about giving love the best way in which the person receives it, however in order to do that; one must take the time to get to know the individual on a level that transcends the day-to-day routine. Each child is unique and it is the parent’s responsibility to lay the foundation for such uniqueness to flourish.

This can be a difficult task if there is more than one child in the household, or if you’re a single mother doing it all by yourself, or with little help. Even in two parent households, this task is a challenging feat with all of the roles each parent has. However, we owe this to our children so that when they are parents they will know how to best express love.