I think we all know females who believe their vaginas can move mountains, establish world peace, and end wars in one day’s work. I’ve never been of the opinion that my vagina could make a man do something he didn’t want to do and I have seen firsthand where guys used this stance of these females to their advantage. For example, if a guy knows you will perform the sexual olympics on him to “prove” to him that you are the woman of his dreams, the one he should put aside all other females for, and marry you; why wouldn’t he let you believe that you could actually accomplish that feat? It’s a win-win situation for him. He gets the goodies and has the ammunition to make you think that if you keep up with the acrobatics, it will get you closer to the altar.
The truth of the matter is there is nothing special about your vagina. Nothing. It does not have special powers. Why? Because every woman has one. It isn’t unique. To top it all off, some guys will hit anything. Even if you aren’t as “experienced” in that arena as others, an open mind and willingness can prove to be a fun time for both parties. The sex toy game is lucrative for a reason. The point is sex is probably the easiest aspect of a relationship to fix (for those for whom this is a priority). Other aspects of building and sustaining a relationship are not as easy and quite often are the distinguishing factors between a successful relationship and one that doesn’t last. I’ve been saying for years, “every man has a penis and every woman has a vagina therefore there has to be something else that distinguishes you from the next person.”
I’m not saying sex isn’t important. I’m saying don’t lead with your vagina. It ain’t that special. Focus on becoming the type of woman who will attract the type of man you say you desire.
There are probably a number of answers to this question, but in my opinion, the bottom line is one has to truly love and accept who they are, flaws and all, before they are able to be a true friend. You can’t love someone else if you don’t love yourself. And you can’t seek in a friend something that is not in you.
Whether we are speaking of romantic relationships and platonic friendships the same is always true. (DISCLAIMER: I use the term relationship as it relates to the relational interactions between people.) You can’t find someone else to complete what is lacking in you. That’s how we end up in dysfunctional, unfulfilling relationships which eventually lead to discord and bitterness.
You have to link yourself to persons who have the same beliefs as you. Similar foundational beliefs systems, when nurtured, can lead to long term satisfying relationships. Nevertheless, we are able to relate to persons whose belief systems differ as long as all parties are content in who they are and what they believe and are respectful of the fact that you believe something different.
This is where the term associate comes into play. An associate is instrumental in your development of self because you can understand and learn about yourself within their context, elevating you to a different level. With an associate, something will always be missing from the relationship, because they are usually only in our lives for a season, to teach us something. And they may come in and out of your life at very random moments in time.
Whether “true” is the word I would use to define who or how I am with the people in my life is tricky. I am what I want to receive from them. If I am going through a rough patch, I may not be the best friend in the world; however the love and appreciation I have for them is unwavering. Rough patches are tough, but real friends are able to bounce back from them. If you are finding yourself having the same disagreements with the same people over and over again, then it is time to evaluate their purpose in your life. Sometimes, because of similar interests (among other reasons), we hang on to people who were only meant to be in our lives for a season.
Do you want to know how you know I am your true friend? Because I will be willing to walk out of your life if I believed that would mean a lifetime of happiness for you. Friendship is not selfish.
That’s my definition of friendship: tell me yours…